Hi world! Chris here. And I have a lot to share, so I’m just going to ignore the fact that this is a whole week late and go ahead and get started talking about my time in Texas.

Now, if you’ve never been to El Paso, let me tell you a little something about it. It’s really beautiful, but in a different way than anything I had ever experienced before.

For example, I have never seen a world that brown. There was little to no vegetation and most of it wasn’t even green. It was brown. Even the rocks weren’t grey. They were brown and chalky like hardened clay. It was almost like the ground wasn’t really dirt, but it was just brown dust.

We were in the middle of the city, but somehow it still felt like it was the middle of nowhere. The desert was always there. It seeped into the houses and the hotels. The roads were the same pale clay color as the sand stretching out on either side. It was like each one belonged to the other as the town flowed into the wilderness without any kind of seem.

Like I said, it’s completely different from anything in North Carolina, but it is also really beautiful.

I’m sure we didn’t get the full effect because we were only there for about three days, but in that time we managed to squeeze in as many places and activities as we possibly could. Some of them were really awesome and some of them were . . . eh. And, you know, some of them were deadly but we’ll get to that later.

Without further ado, here’s the top 9 worthwhile stops we made in El Paso, Texas.

Leo’s Mexican Restaurant

This is the best place to go for Mexican food. It was the recommendation of every local we asked, and after going there ourselves, I have to agree with them. It gets five stars from me.

Scenic Drive Outlook

This might be one of my favorite stops even though all it involved was driving up the side of a mountain to look at the city. There was just something really special about it. Seeing all those lights from the top of a mountain feels almost like looking down on the sky. It’s not often the world looks like it’s inhabited by stars.

Franklin Mountains State Park

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There’s a lot I can say about this particular trail. It’s the first place we saw wild tarantulas (and we saw a lot of them) and it’s the only place Jacob let me take a picture with him. I think this is where I realized El Paso was really a lovely place. It’s also the one place that naturally had green plants.

If I had a complaint, it’s just the fear all the Watch For Snakes signs inspired in me. I didn’t like that one bit.

Aztec Caves

Technically, this is still at Franklin Mountains State Park, but I had so many pictures, I gave it its own category. I also think the experience really deserves its own category as well. I mean I love hiking, but this took it to a whole new level. Usually, I’m just walking harder than usual, but I legitimately had to climb up the side of the mountain to reach those caves.

I don’t think the pictures fully capture the elevation we reached as we hiked. By the end, we were on our hands and knees almost crawling over beds of rocks. We had to do this while keeping watch we didn’t crawl upon a snake or spider too.

I want to complain about it, but it was too much fun. Now I’m just proud we all made it up and back down again.

Cattleman’s Steakhouse at Indian Cliffs Ranch

I think I could go on about this place forever. I won’t, but I think I could. There’s a lot they’ve got going on here. Both good and bad. For the sake of dramatic purposes, let’s look at the good first.

Out of all the great food we had on this trip, the supper at Cattleman’s Steakhouse was BY FAR the best. The food was amazing, but the atmosphere was also incredible. The entire restaurant was in the middle of an active cattle ranch that also looked after exotic animals too. Walking outside was basically walking through a miniature zoo.

Probably the most interesting part was the fact that they had a rattlesnake pit. It was literally just a pit with wire covering, filled with rattlesnakes. Nothing can go wrong with that right?

Of course it can! So, let’s dive in, shall we?

I didn’t want to hang out by the pit too long because snakes are not my friends, so I decided to go look at the prairie dogs instead. I was really excited to see them, so I was basically running to get right up to the edge of their exposure.

Well, there just happened to be this massive trashcan beside me that was pushed almost against the wall of the exposure. I didn’t think anything of it at first because it was just a trashcan, but something made me look at it again. Maybe it was because I didn’t want to get to close to the trash because that’s gross, maybe I could sense that something was watching me, or maybe it was just dumb luck.

I don’t really care either way. All that matters is the fact that I looked next to my foot, by next to my foot I mean less than 12 inches from my foot, and saw a big fat baby rattlesnake next to me. And I was wearing shorts. And sandals. There was literally nothing in between us.

It took less than five seconds for my brain to register that I was standing beside a rattlesnake and then it took less than ten seconds for the adrenaline to kick in and make me jump as far away as I could get. I’m sure it looked like I was flying to anyone nearby. I don’t think I’ve ever moved so quickly before in my life.

Nobody was close by, so they only took a real notice when I started screaming bloody murder about the snake. It took a couple tries to actually say snake because I was already going into shock. Eventually, I got it out and I also just started pointing and screaming.

This got others to go look and notice the snake had escaped from its pit while my parents came to help me through the panic attack that I fell into. I mean I was hyperventilating, and I even started crying. I didn’t even get bit; I just saw it beside me.

That’s how my family found out I probably have ophidiophobia. Because of this dude right here.

My brother is the idiot that wanted to go take the picture. I wouldn’t have gone back over there for a million bucks. I mean it was, hands down, the scariest couple of seconds I have ever been through. I think I would’ve died if it bit me. I just would’ve gone into cardiac arrest from straight up fear. That would’ve been it for me.

I’m actually kind of surprised that didn’t happen just from being near it. I mean my hands were shaking all through dinner. I could hardly drink my water because I didn’t want to spill it. It was like waking up from a really bad nightmare. The only difference was that I lived it.

No biggie. I’m just scarred for life now. It’s fine, I’m fine, everything’s fine.

In all seriousness, this was a trip that did change my life. Not because I almost got bit by a snake or because mom almost accidently drove us over the border into Mexico when none of us had passports or anything, but because it was my last chance to see my brother before he deploys. He was the whole reason for the trip. We never would have left North Carolina in the middle of school and work and life if not for the fact that he was on leave.

Jacob is a great guy. He’s the goofiest, most annoying and stubborn idiot I know, but he’s also the kindest, bravest, and most generous soul I know. I can’t thank him enough for being part of the reason I had the best childhood. He’s taught me so much that I didn’t know I needed to learn and has always been ready to humble me when I start to think a little too much of myself. We fight more than anyone else I know but I guess that’s how we show our love because Jacob is the best brother anyone could have.

I hope he knows how much we’re going to miss him. We’ll always be praying for him too.

If you don’t mind, please add your prayers to ours that Jacob comes home safely and swiftly. He means so much to so many people, myself included, we’re all gonna be pretty lost without him here for the next year. It would mean so much to know that others are keeping him in their hearts as well.

Sorry to get serious, but don’t worry, next week will be much more upbeat as it’s all about my FAVORITE event of the year. Until then, stay safe out there. Try not to step on any snakes!